When I was in middle school, my father would give me 200Naira for my daily activities; transportation to-and-from school and lunch money. All I really needed was 150N though, so the next morning he would give me 100N to add to the remaining 50N from the previous day. I became so use to this routine that I would spend more money on food and not have enough for transportation and would have to ask a friend to pay my bus fare. One day as I returned home, my father asked for his change and I was not able to produce it. He was highly upset and said for the next two school days I should find my own money to support myself. I was so upset with him but I shouldn't have been; no one told me not to manage my money wisely.
I made it through those days with support from others (no household help) but I was still mad at him. Being a missinonary, my dad came to the United States for a conference and when he prayed the last prayer before he left the house in Nigeria, my spirit was still up against him. He made it safe and sound to the U.S. and gave us a call but I did not even want to speak with him. He also called about a month later but I still felt the same way. One day after the day he called, my mother received a tragic call from my sister saying my father had a stroke and was in the hospital. I broke out crying because the only thing I could think about was my anger towards him before he left. The first thing I said was, "I'm sorry dad!", like he could hear my cry all the way from Nigeria. I totally got rid of the anger that dwelled in me before the incident.
Occasionally I think to myself what if my father would have passed away. Then I would have been that lonesome child with guilt in his life forever. It would have been tough to forgive myself. So now I say, "Life is too short to carry on with malice or hold things against one another, be mature and live a decent mind-free life."
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
I love this one. I do the same thing. Thanks for writing this though because it helped me. Just know that...ok? =)
That was really deep...I liked it. (I know this is irrelevant but what exactly is Naira...I know a form of currency but from where haha?) =)
Well that was some good stuff. I must say I need to learn to be this way. I don't talk to one of my ex best friend because of some bad things she has done to me. Even though I do think about her and wonder how she is doing I can't forgive her for what she was done to me. There is a part that wants to be is scared she does not even care.
Post a Comment